


Humility

by altered_eagle, phoenixjustice



Series: Sad Pancake Man Hours [4]
Category: Professional Wrestling, 新日本プロレス | New Japan Pro-Wrestling
Genre: Angst, Drunken Confessions, Gen, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Jay White's Showboating Often Covers Up Deep Self Doubts, Jay's feeling it now ouch, Kayfabe Compliant, M/M, Misfortune With Alcohol, Naito takes care of Jay, rip Tetsuya Naito's Knees, there's always both with these two
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:28:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29261997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/altered_eagle/pseuds/altered_eagle, https://archiveofourown.org/users/phoenixjustice/pseuds/phoenixjustice
Summary: And n'matter how fucking. HARD I try, in the end it all gets ripped out from under me. I can't do this anymore Naito I can't, not when I'm in pieces and nobody on my side can s-spare a fucking glance my wayJay, you have to stop. Breathe.
Relationships: Naito Tetsuya/Jay White
Series: Sad Pancake Man Hours [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2096271
Comments: 4
Kudos: 5





	Humility

"Calling the world from isolation  
'Cause right now, that's the ball where we be chained  
And if you're coming back to find me  
You'd better have good aim  
Shoot it true, I need you in the picture  
That's why I'm calling you"

[Humility: Gorillaz](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=E5yFcdPAGv0)

_And n'matter how fucking. HARD I try, in the end it all gets ripped out from under me. I can't do this anymore Naito I can't, not when I'm in pieces and nobody on my side can s-spare a fucking glance my way_

_Jay, you have to stop. Breathe._ Tetsuya moved one hand over Jay's head, made sure to keep his fingers from combing through the damp knots snarled deep in Jay's hair. Jay stilled beneath his hand so Tetsuya repeated the action once, then twice more as Jay White leaned closer. It hurt his wrist to keep going, but at the moment that was a very small price to pay. Then

Jay made a soft sad little noise, and those same flickers of anger and rage rose up through Tetsuya's blood so fast and with such intensity that it took several deep even breaths to force them back down. _Tranquilo,_ he whispered aloud, and the anger burned out as quickly as it came. 

Suddenly Jay shuddered and leaned over the toilet, mumbling about never drinking again while Tetsuya fumbled to keep his hair back.

 _Actually, let me just. Get this out of the way,_ he murmured, and began to gather it all up.

_There is a twig in your hair, Jay White._

_Wouldn't be such a twig if you'd lemme have some fuckin' pancakes,_ Jay growled into the crook of his elbow where it rested on the toilet rim. _Then. Maybe then I wouldn't feel so goddamn sick right now._

Tetsuya laughed _. I don't think there's any power on heaven or earth that could have prevented you getting sick, mi pollito **.**_ He flicked the twig into the trash and finished securing Jay's hair at the base of his skull. 

_I miss my mum and dad._ Jay shuffled backwards, leaned against Tetsuya's shins. He smelled like sweat and stale alcohol and bile but Tetsuya ignored it, and slid down from his perch on the edge the bathtub to sit beside him.

 _I want to go home._ Jay's voice was suddenly very small. Tetsuya let himself sigh, rubbed Jay's back. 

_I know._

_I wishhhh._ Jay sniffed, turned his head away. _I wish there was more certainty about the future._

 _That would make life a lot easier, yes_ , Tetsuya agreed, resting his chin on the hand on Jay's back. _But...it doesn't work that way. It never will. All we can control_ _sobre el futuro_ _is our response to it._

 _I don't._ Jay swallowed hard. _I don't know how._ Tetsuya wasn't sure how to reply, so instead he pulled the quilt he'd brought tighter around Jay's shoulders. The more Tetsuya observed him like this—raw and broken and open—the more Switchblade seemed like a mere illusion.

Tetsuya wondered how much he'd ever really been there at all. Switchblade's strength was still there and his drive was still there, but the lack of support when Jay White had needed it most had exposed something else entirely.

 _Shh,_ _esta bien_ , he finally murmured in Jay's ear. _Just rest. Drink your water. We'll go back to the sofa when you're ready._

His back and knees would definitely have preferred Jay to be ready sooner rather than later, but he'd dealt with worse. 

And it was there, sitting still in the dawn in the dead of winter on his bathroom floor with his arms full of Jay White that Tetsuya realized the full gravity of his decision: he would not be able to stop himself from letting this man into more than just his home. The moment he fell through the door it was done.

As an opponent Jay obviously considered himself a thorn in Tetsuya's side, never pausing to wonder if Tetsuya _wanted_ him stuck there, nor to consider how closely they orbited one another now. Jay White never seemed to pause to consider much of anything.

 _Why'r you…_ Jay cleared his throat, winced. _Treating me like you treat them?_

It took Tetsuya a moment to realize that Jay meant the other members of his stable.

 _It never occurred to me to treat you any other way_ , he replied honestly. He hadn't realized. 

_You take care of them the way you do me?_ Tetsuya smiled, thinking of them.

 _I have, once or twice,_ he said. _They have done the same for me. They're my family_. Jay made that same sad little noise in the back of his throat, and Tetsuya shivered unexpectedly as the sound pricked at his heart. 

_You'll see yours soon,_ he found himself saying as he guided Jay to lean up against him. _You will see them soon._

Jay hummed, nodded. _They'd be glad you're here,_ he whispered. 

\-----

Notes:

_sobre el futuro_ \- about the future

_esta bien -_ it's okay

_Mi pollito_ \- my little chicken (my dear)

**Author's Note:**

> The line "I wish there was more certainty about the future" is from Stardew Valley.
> 
> Thank you Phoenix for your extra help, without you this fic would still be sitting on the back burner <3


End file.
